?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Governmentium

A little politial/physics humor for the day...


A major DOE research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "governmentium."

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as: "Critical Morass."

You will know it when you see it.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lady_spacetrash
Sep. 15th, 2003 07:56 pm (UTC)
This made me laugh a big, resounding belly laugh.

The acronym of convention doesnt even do it justice.

Thank you.
spoonless
Sep. 16th, 2003 03:27 pm (UTC)
Any time...
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

blueshirt
spoonless
domino plural

Latest Month

May 2017
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lizzy Enger