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high school reunion

Things are speeding ahead really fast at this point. Got back late last night from Florida, where I attended my 10-year high school reunion. Man, was that a trip... definitely worth it in every way. Some people were there whom I hadn't seen since 3rd grade! People treat me so differently now than they did in high school and middle school. Or maybe it's just I who've changed. Probably a lot of both. Everything is different after people grow up--the strange artificial walls that surrounded us and isolated us in high school are gone and there are no more illusions, just a bunch of fellow human beings trying to make their way in the world. I've laid to rest a lot of long-standing psychological issues that needed closure for me... and it felt very good. I'd always held on to the past in a weird clingy way, wanting it to make sense even though it's over and done with and never will... but now I realize that I can't change anything and I've finally accepted that... and I'm ready to let it go and move on now. I imagined my reunion so many times in my mind over the past 10 years. So many things I wanted to say to different people that I was too afraid to back then. Apologies I wanted to make. Questions I wanted to ask. Things I had to know. But when it came to it, I didn't have to say any of these things. Although it was different in every way than I had imagined--and at times disappointing because I still never got to say what I wanted to say--it was better in some ways than I could have possibly imagined. It's as if all the awkwardness from high school were just lifted out into the open and carried away by the wind. Replaced by laughter and lightheartedness--and for one night only--the comradery I never experienced in high school, but had craved oohh so much. But one night was all it took for me to be happy. I don't care if I ever see them again, as long as I got to spend that one evening with them the way I am now, and not the broken dysfunctional way I was then. It's something I'll remember fondly and proudly for the rest of my life, and it will (almost) make up for a lot of things that were very bad for me in my earlier life. (Did I say earlier life? Yes, it's hard for me to imagine this is the same lifetime... but I suppose it is!) But the point is, that life is over and done with now, the chapter has been closed.

ikioi arrives on Friday, then we have the weekend to buy last minute stuff, and then all next week is Burning Man. It's come far too soon and I feel unprepared, but I'm sure I'll manage. I'm still trying to catch up reading lj for the 6 days I was away in Florida. I didn't realize how much time I spend on lj until after being gone I see how much it piled up! Between last week and next week, I doubt I'll be able to read everything this summer. I'm just going to have to skip it and pick up later, but that's okay.

"Life moves pretty fast... if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 25th, 2005 10:36 am (UTC)
ah I'm sitting here imagining the perfect Romeo and M HS R, with a helicopter flying off and the bitch's skirt flying sky high..........then I'm also contemplating how sick I'm going to be tomorrow from drinking from communal ice water all evening (*dumbass, sickiness settling on now)

As of now, a grand total of two people I knew in HS are not married....I wouldn't say life necessarily moves quickly (those really old turtles?), I'd say that some people choose to move it along.....for better and worse.

If cats have 9 lives, I'd hate to count how many humans have.
Aug. 25th, 2005 10:36 am (UTC)
Aug. 30th, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC)
I keep wanting my reunions to be like this...
but I missed my high school reunion 2 months ago. There might never be another one.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


domino plural

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